Conquering Third Language

A friend of mine once asked me, "Why are you so determined in learning German?"

I promptly answered, "Because I want to understand the people."

She was startled by this statement. I couldn't find better answer, as much true and straightforward as it is.

I stayed in Germany for a short period, I could just use English anyway. I was told by some colleagues for not to put much efforts in learning language. Take it easy, they said. You're already good enough speaking English. Nevertheless, I took beginners course in Goethe-Institut within three months before leaving Jakarta. It was A.1.1 level, the starting point for absolute beginners. Well, at least I could learn how to order pizza, I reassured myself.

First week in Germany, I ended up buying ready-to-made pizza and made myself one instead of eating in restaurant. In the first attempt going to restaurant, I was completely ignored, because the waitress couldn't speak English. I eventually made my order by gesturing what I wanted, pointing to the menus and indicating my desired meal. Even more that I couldn't read the menus, I took only good looking food, presuming and praying that it would fit my taste and appetite. Who said it would be easy.

Everywhere I go, I tried to make friends, to communicate with neighbors and colleagues. Not everybody could speak English which was hardly taken for granted initially. In addition, cultural distinctions bewildered me. What seemed normal in my native land is not the same in this country, and it applies the other way around. It occurred to me that I was like an alien, a total stranger. I need to adapt, but the language barrier hold my self-esteem down low. How was I supposed to settle if I couldn't understand what people said and couldn't handle a single conversation?

As social being, I wish to be regarded by others, to be accepted as meaningful member in the circle. I want to contribute to the community as well. However, I was too illiterate to even read bus schedules, too hesitant to ask information at the ticket counter, too slow in the line paying groceries at the customers checkout, I was so sick with my inabilities that the urge to learn language became a dire need. I want to know what story in that drama television is about. I want to be able to talk without having to search for my words. I want to read books without needing to look for dictionary every minute.

I looked for language courses and thankfully I found one in Volkshochschule. I took the placement test, and to my surprise, my score put me in Module 4, I was considered no longer a beginner. I took the evening class twice per week, four hours long in each lessons. First day in class, I didn't understand any of what the teacher had said. My mind was flooded with new unfamiliar words. I was too overwhelmed to look for Google Translate, so I noted it all down and studied the definition later. The teacher was a young, PhD title holder, blond hair lady, whom I thought was a German but apparently is a Polish. I never missed her class, I actually liked it. I looked forward for Tuesday and Thursday to come. There were individual tasks and also group works, in which I had to learn together with my classmates. They come from several different countries. It's interesting to hear their stories about their homelands and their hopes and dreams in Germany.

At the workplace, I absorbed everything I heard and overheard: chit-chats, greetings, meetings, and phone conversations. I mimicked every common expressions my colleagues used to show pleasure, regret, surprise, exhilaration, exhaustion, dissatisfaction, confusion, embarrassment, and many other emotions. Just like a baby learns to talk, I copied and digested words by words, devoured all I could. Besides, there are lots of learning material in the internet. One site I always access is germanpod101.com, they provide great audio lessons which helped improving my German.

Though I did well in the course, it seemed like it's never enough. I came to realize that it takes time to be a fluent speaker. I've learned English since I was in elementary school, that made 15 years learning to truly understand the context and to articulate it in everyday use. Funny how I don't really remember having any struggles learning English, I just....learned it. On the other hand, learning German is my conscious decision. I know for sure how difficult it is, because thinking in German is totally different from thinking in English. To understand the context requires frequent studying and practicing. Determination and hard work will always pay off, I believe it so.

Six months passed by quickly. I finished my course as well my training. I returned to Indonesia with more determination. I took proficiency test in Goethe-Institut which placed me in B.1.2 level. I have advanced six levels from the previous A.1.1 course. My current learning goal is to reach minimum C.1 level and to acquire Goethe-Zertifikat C1 for my next year's Masters study. I continued learning in Goethe-Institut, I tried writing E-mails in German, and mingling with German colleagues just to keep myself surrounded by the language and make progress step by step.

Though it sounds weird, but the struggles I've been encountering so far are boredom and embarrassment. There were times I was so bored that I questioned myself, "Why the am I bothering to learn this language?!" When the motivation goes down, I would narrow down my expectation for a while, from expecting that I want to be fluent someday to at least I could understand what the weather report says. Keeping the motivation high is like having battle against myself. There were also many embarrassing moments when I wanted to say something but ended up humiliating myself with funny grammar and strange accent that native people would laugh. I even once couldn't differentiate how to pronounce schon and schön, it sounded just the same to me until I knew the difference. It's stupid, but at least I am trying. Instead of keeping my mouth shut, I learned better when I made mistakes.

I'm glad I learned a lot during my time in Germany. I met many new people I could connect with easily. We spent good times, they're even expecting my return back to Germany, as if I'd gone for a while and will come back soon. I could feel the pressure on my shoulders, aiming to achieve my goals as quickly as possible. Back to the question, "Why would I learn German?" I would add, "I want to understand people and I want to know how to make them understand me."

Okay, dann halte ich die Ohren steif!